Update – Lost Memories of Mama

When we laid Mama to rest in 1967, I walked away from her gravesite and never returned.  The grave was a reminder of suffering and dying; and I wanted to hold on to memories of Mama being healthy and alive.  The years passed and the memories of suffering and dying faded.

Last year, I decided it was time to return to Mama’s gravesite; and, I shared why in a post on October 21 2016, “Lost Memories of Mama.

On July 5, 2016, along with hubby, son and two cousins, I visited Mama’s grave for the first time since her burial more than forty-eight years ago.

I planned for a prayer and viewing of the purchased headstone.  What a surprise to learn that  my sister/cousin, Rev. Dr. Gwendolyn Eloby Fleming had written an Unveiling of the Headstone Program.  She was able to do this without my input.  We were the daughters of two sisters, raised together as sisters, and she knew my Mama’s life story.

After sharing Words of Commemoration and leading us in reciting the 23rd Psalm, my sister/cousin read the written Statement of Purpose:

“We now fondly dedicate this headstone to the loving and blessed memory of Onetha Outlaw Burks realizing that her remains lie not only in this plot of ground but in every heart her life did touch.

We are grateful for the years we were privileged to share with her — years when she brought us so many pleasures and taught us so very much by example.  Years in which she gave her best and established the foundation upon which her sisters, brothers, child, grandchildren, son-in-law, family and friends stand.

As an African people, we believe that three generations are always present — the past, present and future. Our ancestors never leave us. Onetha lives on even though her physical body is not in our midst.  We know that she will never leave our hearts and spirits where she continues to bless us and future generations forever.

Her spirit is with us today!”

For years, I carried a heavy burden without realizing the heaviness.  I have released the guilt of staying away from Mama’s gravesite for so many years.  I have recaptured the lost memories.  I mourn in peace rather than fear.  I will continue, for the remainder of my life, to honor Mama in death as I did during her lifetime.

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Cousin: Rev. Dr. Gwendolyn Eloby Fleming and husband, David Fleming.

Thanks to Hubby, children, grands, and cousins, for your love and support throughout this journey.

 

 

 

 

Author: SeasonedSistah2

During this final season life, I am going on a journey to define "ME." Opening up and going outside of my comfort zone to redefine ME.. Exploring and pursuing new interests that will lead to personal happiness, serenity, and tranquility. In undertaking this mission, overcoming the FEAR is my greatest challenge. Fear has played a large role in my life, but I overcame the FEAR of breast cancer, chronic pain associated with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, and Sleep Apnea. My new mantra: FEAR has two meanings: "(1) Forget Everything And Run, or (2) Face Everything and Rise. The Choice is Mine." Blogging here I come ready or not!!!

5 thoughts on “Update – Lost Memories of Mama”

  1. Yvonne, I am so proud of you for having the courage to address your fears and sadness about your Mom. The words of your cousin are so filled with the spirit that you had to find them healing and uplifting. I’m Happy for you and your family.

    Like

  2. The service your cousin wrote is beautifully moving. I’m glad for you that you have let go of your past and are celebrating your mother’s many gifts to her family. You are a woman filled with courage and love. ❤

    Like

  3. This made me teary eyed. I can only imagine the relief and burden lifted from your heart as you took such a strong and selfless step. I’m so glad that you were able to be so near her again and happy that your family was present to support you on this journey. ❤

    Like

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