Three weeks ago, after reading the book, “You Are Not Your Pain,” by Burch and Penman; I decided to try their 8-Week Mindfulness and Meditation Training Program.
Even though, there were doubts, I embarked on this new journey which, If successful, would add a new self-management option for managing and controlling my 20+ year chronic pain condition.
Week One: Still A Work-In-Progress
When the week ended, I still wasn’t able to, wholeheartedly, buy into the concept to welcome and accept with compassion my physical, mental or emotional pain.
I successfully completed the required reading and medication/mindfulness practices. Although, I experienced different results when faced with:
- Mental and Emotional Pain – I wasn’t able to welcome it with compassion and kindness.
- Physical Pain – The pain levels appeared to lessen when, without negative judgment, I made the choice to enter stillness, follow the breath, and acknowledge the pain with compassion and soothing words.
Week Two: You Are Not Your Thoughts
The practices this week were twice daily, 10-minute Body Scan and Breathing Anchor Meditations; as well as a Watch The Sky, Habit Releaser.
Body Scan Meditation
After completing twenty-eight (28) meditations, I still cannot warmly welcome and accept mental and emotional pain when it enters my space.
Yet, I did make progress. At least, I think so, given what happened following a recent disagreement with:
- Hubby, “What’s wrong?”
- Me, “I’m good.”
- Hubby, “Why are you just sitting there with your eyes closed?”
- Me, silently, “I am breathing deeply trying to welcome and compassionately accept the fact that you are getting on my last nerve.”
By practicing stillness and breathing, I eventually let go of the negative feelings, moved past a stressful moment, and stepped into the present moment stress-free.
A work-in-progress, I remain, as it relates to welcoming mental and physical pain with kindness and compassion. Yet, I am optimistic that further study and meditation practices will open me up to embrace this concept. After all, this is only the second week.
Breathing Anchor Meditations
Reading about and practicing this meditation introduced me to Characteristics of the Doing and Being Modes.
According to the authors of this book, the:
- Doing Mode causes you to over think your pain,
- Being Mode – allows you to step away from your pain.
I read, re-read, highlighted, and flagged the information shared by the authors on the two different modes. Eventually, I reached the conclusion that I shouldn’t limit this meditation and mindfulness training program, as initially planned, to managing and controlling my chronic pain condition.
This new understanding of the Characteristics of the Doing and Being Modes, led me to expand this training program to delve into some of my anxieties and frustrations as a Breast Cancer Survivor.
Habit Releaser – Watch The Sky
Every day, I looked up at the sky for fifteen or more minutes because, according to the authors:
“Pain and suffering can be likened to the weather, while your awareness can be seen in the sky. Sometimes the weather is wild and wintry. Other times it is calm, clear and sunny. But no matter what happens to the weather, the sky always remain. One of the best way to gain a sense of this simple but profound idea is to simply watch the sky for a while.”
I watched the sky for seven days. One day, while exercising in the pool, I looked up and followed the quarter moon as it moved farther and farther away, finally disappearing.
Other days, I spent watching the sky, at different times and in various setting and, even, captured photos:
I enjoyed watching the different colorations in the sky, the formation of the clouds, and the movement of the quarter moon. After several days, I could see the ever-changing looks of the sky in relationship to my mental, emotional and physical pain.
What I know now that I didn’t know before Week Two:
- Doing Mode – The realization that I function in the Doing Mode as a breast cancer survivor and need to reset this mindfulness/meditation training program to better manage and control the emotional and mental pain that affects the quality of my life.
- Being Mode – Self-analysis leads me to believe that, as a chronic pain survivor, I have lived my life in the Being Mode for a number of years. Continuing this training will either confirm or disprove my self-analysis.
As I move forward on this journey, I plan to document my Doing and Being Mode experiences, past and present, in future posts.
I will be back posting Week 3 of this on January 24. I send a warm thank you to the imanikingblog for hosting Freedom Friday and allowing me to use her platform to document this journey.