Grateful to Karuna: As I Journey to Live, Learn and Let Go

Almost two years ago, I created this blog to voice my opinion and share my life experiences. And, this I have done.

However, in the course of following other blogs, over this two-year period, I read about their opinions and life experiences of other bloggers.

And, through the world of blogosphere, I have become wiser and more understanding of the people, places and things that exist outside of my limited environment.

One of the bloggers that I have connected with, in a special way, is Karuna over at Living, Learning and Letting Go. Our lives are different in so many ways:

She is white; and, I am Black.
She is divorced; and, I have been married for 55 years.
She lives in the northwest; and, I live in the southeast.
She follows Amma (one of India’s foremost spiritual leaders); and, I am a baptized Baptist and attend on-line church services at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.
She is a vegetarian, and, I eat meat.
She is a practicing psychotherapist, and, I am retired.

Despite these differences, Karuna’s blog resonated with me from the beginning. Her posts opened up my space to explore and receive the “new and different;” and; I am confident that going outside my comfort zone is a part of the journey, in this season of my life, to Live, Learn and Let Go.

Right, now I am reading Karuna’s book “Getting to Joy: A Western Householder’s Spiritual Journey Amritanandarmayi.” This book as well as Karuna’s blog:

Motivated me to go outside of my comfort zone;
Exposed me to a different spiritual practice;
Educated me on recycling and climate change issues;
Introduced me to Ashrams in India; and
Inspired me through her writings, musical lyrics, and beautiful photographs.

I am grateful to Karuna for bringing something “new and different” into my life.

When I Live, I Learn — and, even if, I Let Go — I believe what enters my space remains.

Gratitude Sunday – September 13, 2014

Saturday Morning Date

I express gratitude for all that enters my space — whether it brings me:

happiness or sadness;
order or turmoil;
panic or serenity.

Because, I believe everything is in accordance with God’s Plan.

Today, I am grateful for yesterday; and, the early Saturday morning outing with Hubby.

Our Saturday Morning Date begins with a stop at Panera’s Bread:

Our order is the same week-after-week — decaf coffee and a cheese bagel. The bagel (33 carbs/330 calories) is our weekly treat. While, it violates the healthy eating low-carb, low-cal diet plan that we follow during the week; we, make this choice without guilt. After all, we could have had:

When we finish breakfast, it’s off to the Neighborhood Y to fulfill the last of our four-day per week exercise program commitment:

We arrived when the doors opened at 8:00 a.m.; and, surprise our Friendly Greeter, who normally welcomes us with a beautiful smile at 7:00 a.m. on weekdays, was staffing the Front Desk.

All checked in and ready to workout. My first stop is 20 minutes on the Pre-Cor, followed by circuit weights, and ending with 20 minutes on the stationary bike.

Hubby deviated a bit from his normal workout, which includes 20 minutes on the bike. Instead, he did 20 minutes on the treadmill; and, then allowed the extra time for weights — circuit and free.

After our workout, we chose to relax and rest for the rest of the day. He watched football; and, I wrote the first draft of my weekly Monday morning post.

I am grateful for my wonderful Saturday Morning Date with Hubby. Though some may see this as an ordinary Saturday morning; for me, it was an extra-ordinary morning. Even after almost fifty-five years of marriage to my teenage sweetheart, I treasure every moment spent with him.

Thankful Thursday – September 11, 2014

I Am Thankful Today for:

The beautiful flowers and plants in my Healing Garden.

A wonderful Hubby who assembled my new potting table this week. It definitely will make what I love to do, potting plants, a little easier.

The imanikingblog for inspiring me to take part in Thankful Thursday, which I plan to continue weekly.

Thankful for the OLOGISTS in My Life

Before Breast Cancer Diagnoses

For more than fifty years, the only OLOGIST in my life was the GynecOLOGIST.

Annually, I scheduled appointments for three health care examinations. One with the GynecOlogist; and, the other two were for a yearly physical examination and mammogram.

For years, I chose to ignore the potential health hazards of being:

a smoker;
overweight;
overworked;
an exercise abstainer;
stressed out;
sleep deprived; and
spiritually undernourished.

In 1993, I was diagnosed with two chronic conditions — Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. Now, I needed a second “OLOGIST,” the RheumatOLOGIST.

With these two diagnoses, the frequency of visits for health care treatment increased from three followup exams per year to monthly followup visits, bi-monthly lab testing, and a host of prescribed medications.

After being diagnosed, with two chronic health conditions, I made some healthy lifestyle choices. I —

no longer smoked,
found outlets for spiritual nourishment, and
committed to a formalized exercise program.

But, I failed to address some of the other health hazards —

Stress;
Overworking;
Weight Fluctuations; and
Sleep Deprivation.

Despite the continued health hazards in my life, for more than fifteen years, my two chronic health conditions were adequately managed and controlled with —

Medications;
Self-Management Tools;
RheumatOLOGIST Medical Management; and
Lifestyle Changes.

Then, the Breast Cancer diagnosis came in 2008.

After Breast Cancer Diagnosis

Medication Side Effects

Between 2008 and 2013, I was diagnosed with five different health care conditions.

Each diagnosis, including breast cancer, was attributed to a side effects from a different medication; and, all were prescribed to treat Rheumatoid Arthritis.

To treat these conditions, I had to add five more OLOGISTS to my healthcare team:

OncOLOGIST;
PulmonolOLOGIST;
CardiOLOGIST;
PsychOLOGIST; and
OphthamOLOGIST.

There may even be a sixth OLOGIST, after my consultation visit in two weeks with a DermatOLOGIST. A cluster of bumps appeared on the right side of my face several weeks ago. This may be a side effect of a new Rheumatoid Arthritis medication; which, was added to replace one that was discontinued because of a side-effect that affected my lungs. I will share the results of this visit in an upcoming post.

Despite the side effects and added health care conditions, I AM Thankful for the OLOGISTS in My Life

And, when, I Grow Tired of the OLOGISTS, I

STOP
BREATHE
EXPRESS GRATITUDE

And, quietly say, “I LIVE Because of the OCOLOGISTS in My Life.

What I Want for Everyone

I WISH that every underinsured or uninsured person, in this country, one day will have access, like me, to OLOGISTS and other health care providers.

Gratitude Sunday – September 7, 2014

For almost five years, I have lived 2000 miles away from my children and grandchildren. While I love spending this season of my life in Florida with Hubby, I miss the times our family came together to support one another.

Yesterday was one of those times. It was the first soccer game of the season for our youngest granddaughter, Cupcake.

I am grateful to her cousin, CJ, our family’s “soccer superstar,” and the other family members who came out to support Cupcake.

Also, I am grateful to my son (Cupcake’s father) and youngest daughter (CJs mother) for the photos and their blow-by-blow report on the game. Cupcake scored a goal, WHOOPEE!!

Gratitude Sunday – August 31, 2014

My First Rocking Chair

Today, I am grateful for gifting me — my first rocking chair.

I visited my grandparents, as a child, every summer in Mississippi. On their front porch, sat four rocking chairs. One, reserved for my Grandfather; and, the other three were on a first come-first rock basis. I liked to read and listen to the sounds made by the rocker as I rocked on the wooden floor.

Love of the rocking chair resurfaced in my mid-fifties. While I didn’t buy a rocking chair, I couldn’t bypass a rocking chair at a Cracker Barrel Restaurant, furniture store, or an airport without sitting down and enjoying a rock or two.

For the past five years, I enjoyed rocking for seven straight days in rocking chairs on the front porch of the house we rent for our Mother-Daughter Vacations in Martha Vineyards

Eldest Daughter in Rocking Chair at Martha’s Vineyard

There are only two rocking chairs on the front porch in Martha’s Vineyard. Both daughters enjoy the rocking chairs, but when I am present — one rocking chair is for Mama. Like, my grandfather, I appreciate my rocking chair privilege. I view it as one of the many gifts of love from my daughters.

After returning from vacation this year, I didn’t want to wait another year to rock in the chairs at the rental house in Martha’s Vineyard or the rocking chairs at the Boston Airport.

Also, I didn’t want to rely on random rocks in public places for the next year. So, I gifted ME a rocking chair for reading and relaxing throughout the year.

Since I was not able to find a rocking chair locally to coordinate with the furniture on our lanai, I ordered one through the internet. It’s perfect. All I need to find is a seat cushion.

I can’t close this post without expressing gratitude to Hubby for assembling my rocking chair. (Side Note — Maybe, after reading this, he will assemble my new potting table delivered this past week and is still boxed up in the foyer.)

Most of all, I am grateful to God for his unconditional love, which has opened my life up to experiencing self-love.

Wordless Wednesday – August 20, 2014

Tomorrow, I Will Go To?????

August 2014: Mother-Daughter Vacation in Martha’s Vineyard

Chronic Pain flare-up

Despite the fact that weeks before this scheduled trip, I was dealing with a pain flare-up in the right knee; I was going on the annual Mother-Daughter Vacation in Martha’s Vineyard.

I have struggled with chronic pain since 1993 related to diagnosed conditions of Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyaglia. Over the years, I developed various self-management tools to control the pain levels. However, my bone-on-bone knee pain needed either an injection or surgery. And, neither was available before this vacation.

Since there was nothing I could do to make the “Pain Go Away”, my only option was to “Grin and Bare It”

Wheelchair Transport Through the Airports

Since Hubby was not going, he ordered a wheelchair to transport me through the Orlando Airport. This is a long walk through one terminal, a short train ride, and a longer walk through a second terminal. Trust me the need for a wheelchair was the topic of more than one discussion in the days leading up to my departure. Finally, I gave in.

My son picked me up at the Milwaukee Airport and we were off to meet-up with the daughters. After the traditional hugs and kisses, they said, “Mama, you are limping.” While the limp was noticeable, I am certain Hubby had telephoned with his concerns.

After discussing the pros and my cons of a wheelchair; I lost and they ordered one for the next leg of my trip.

When I arrived in Milwaukee, I was an “Unhappy Wheelchair Traveler”; but, I left as the “Grumpy Wheelchair Traveler” as my 14-year-old grandson pushed me through the Milwaukee and Boston Airports.

Was it not just a few years ago that he depended on me to push him around in his stroller? I was not ready for this.

Having someone push me around in a wheelchair was not a pleasant experience; and, I felt —

Stressed
Powerless
Depressed
Angry
Embarrassed

The Airline Flight

On the airplane and seated comfortably; I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, and let go of the negativity.

Through Self-Talk, Self-Awareness and Self-Acceptance; I embraced and accepted the gift of wheelchair transports from my hubby, son, two daughters and grandson.

No longer did I feel —

Stressed, I enjoyed Relaxing
Powerless, I gained Power
Depressed, I discovered Peace
Angry, I achieved Happiness
Embarrassed, I reflected Pride

A Few of My Favorite Mother-Daughter Vacation Photos – 2014

The 14-Year-Old Grandson, CJ with His Friend – Lunch on the Ferry

First Night. First Order of Business – Glass of Wine

My Play Daughter from Another Mother, My Youngest Daughter, and Their Two Boys Playing Monopoly on a Rainy Day

Could This Be The Reason The Moms Won At Monopoly? IPhones, IPADS, Laptops, X-Boxes, etc.? I’m Just Saying!!

Love The Old Vintage Homes on Main Street – Downtown Oak Bluff – Facing the Atlantic Ocean

Lunch on The Upper Deck of Nancy’s Seafood with Grandson, Two of His Friends and the Daughters

Surprise from The Daughters – My Favorite Appetizer Before the Crab Leg, Lobster and Shrimp Boil

The Grandson CJ – Adding Crab Legs to the Boil

It’s Crab Boil Night – Because CJ Hates Seafood, He Had A Burrito. His Friend Enjoyed the Crab Let Boil and the Burrito.

Relaxing and Sitting on The Oak Bluff Pier

Look Up In The Sky – Air Force Helicopters Flying Over Prior to The President’s Vacation Visit in The Next Several Days.

Beautiful Sunset View Sitting on The Front Porch

Last Night. Busy Week. Grandson Massaging Mom’s Feet. He Is Special!!!

Goodbye Rental House – See You In August 2015

Wordless Wednesday – August 13

Traveling By Air

Writing 101, Day Nineteen: Don’t Stop The Rockin

“Today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop No self-editing, no trash-talking and no second guessing: just go.”

Fond Memories: Chicago’s South Side

Following the July 4th weekend, the news out of Chicago reported over 60 shootings, leaving sixteen dead, including a 60-year-old woman walking up the stairs to enter her home.

Most of this gun violence is coming out of the South Side of Chicago. I grew up on the South Side in the 1950s. There were gangs but they fought with their fist, with a rare, rare shooting or knifing targeted at a rival gang member.

Unlike today, where the gun violence in Chicago is rampant, the neighborhood I grew up in was a safe haven for the people who lived there.

Summer Memories

I have fond memories of my childhood on the South Side of Chicago.

In the summer months, days were filled with outdoor games that kept us children involved in some type of activity from morning til night. Some of my favorites were:

Hopscotch
Double Dutch Rope
Red Light/Green Light
Hide and Seek
Little Sally Walker
Lightning Bug Searches

We slowed down around 8:00 pm and would sit talking on one of our front porches until our parents called us in.

Best Girlfriend

I was three years older than my best girlfriend, Jackie. For some reason, the difference in our age was never a reason. We were in and out of each other’s homes daily. I was an only child. But, Jackie had seven sisters and two brothers.

On Fridays I always managed to end up at Jackie’s house for dinner. Each week, the menu was either Spaghetti and Meatballs, Hamburger and French Fries, or Chili-Mac.

In retrospect, the last thing this large family of eleven needed was another mouth to feed.

Jackie and I remained close until I left the neighborhood to enter a new phase of life as an army wife.

63rd & Halsted

I lived about three blocks from 63rd and Halsted — the major shopping area for the South Side of Chicago. There were large retail stores like Sears, Goldblatt’s and Wieboldt’s. Smaller clothing and shoe stores — both high-end and budget. The two places, I liked to browse were Kreske’s Five and Dime and Grants where I could always find something to buy with my small weekly allowance.

My Last Visit

Under the Chicago Urban Renewal Program, my old neighborhood was demolished back in the late 1960s. My last visit was probably around 1975. Driving through, I felt disconnected because what I remembered was no longer there.

My Wish

I wish the families now living in my old neighborhood are blessed with a new Chicago Urban Renewal Program that will address the issues they face on a daily basis — poverty, inadequate housing, inferior education, crime, and gun violence.